


Infinity

by Rainbow_Trout



Series: Infinite butterflies [2]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Ableism, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Bullying, Gen, Social Anxiety, autistic!casey, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22372558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Trout/pseuds/Rainbow_Trout
Summary: Not all people are as kind as Severide. Not everyone understands what Autism is.Casey runs into those people.(Contains ableism/cruel characters and bullying... based off my own experience.)
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Series: Infinite butterflies [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626811
Comments: 35
Kudos: 118





	Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, contains tough content, but a very caring family.

Severide sat at the bar, grinning as he watched Capp scrambling to explain _why_ he thought that it had been a good idea to take his wife to a gay bar for their wedding anniversary. According to Capp, the bar itself had been incredible. There was loud music playing all night, and the place was immaculate. The people there were all really nice; no one had been bothered about an old married straight couple – in fact, they had almost been popular. And according to Capp, his wife had really enjoyed it; though Severide supposed that she’d have to be pretty used too Capp’s antics if she’d survived over twenty-seven years of marriage to him.

He heard Casey laugh from deeper within the bar, and he glanced over. He was just in time to see Casey bring his hands to his shoulders and flap. He grinned at that, watching for another moment. The blonde was sitting with a group of firefighters from firehouse forty, and he seemed to be enjoying himself. There had been a time that Casey had been anxious to meet new people, terrified of messing up and misreading something, so Severide had been relieved when he’d been eager to have a drink with them. They _had_ already met the firefighters on a scene, but that had been brief at best. The firefighters had then sought Casey out, and the truck captain had been eager to strike up a conversation with them.

Casey laughed again, hands flapping vigorously. Kelly watched the firefighters from forty closely. It wasn’t until recently that Casey felt as though he didn’t have to hide his stimming behaviours, and that was only through close acceptance of his fifty-one family. And of course, _Severide_ didn’t think that Casey needed to hide it. But he was aware how people could be judgmental arseholes, and the last thing that Casey needed was the blow to his already fragile self-confidence. But the firefighters looked friendly enough, even as Severide scrutinized them from across the bar.

And it was such a relief. Because Casey was social. It was a common misconception that people with autism were automatically anti-social or were automatically reclusive. Yes, Casey _did_ have his struggles when it came to being social; while he was well-versed in reading social signs, he still struggled to read the more subtle ones, or any new ones he might encounter. He didn’t always know if it was inappropriate to say something, and he wasn’t always the best at controlling his tone. Certain sayings confused him, and he often took them literally. All of his challenges had resulted in fairly severe social anxiety. He didn’t like being the centre of attention because the pressure was too much, and Casey had once confessed to both Darden and Severide that he liked having a buffer – that is, someone who could subtly tell him if he was out of line, assist him in reading any situation at hand or step in if Casey seemed that he needed it. 

Darden had always been better at doing it and would explain things to Casey so it would help him in the future. Along with Severide, they would do roleplays, and Darden would gently coach Casey. Severide had been surprised that it hadn’t offended the blonde, but Casey had explained that it was really helpful, and he knew that he had a lot to learn. The entire experience had given him a lot of confidence, because he’d lacked a patient parent when he’d been younger.

Confident that Casey was in good hands, Severide turned back to his own group. They were all more than used to him checking on Casey – they all did it, not that they didn’t think he could look after himself, they just felt better knowing that Casey was happy – and didn’t mind that Severide had missed the last part of the conversation. It didn’t take him long to catch up, and it was easy enough for them to slip back into their usual banter.

“There has to be ugly in this world for you to appreciate beauty.”

Grinning at Capp’s smug tone, Severide clapped him on the shoulder, “And Chicago thanks you for your sacrifice.”

Laughter went up, but Severide was drawn from it as Casey crossed past him, heading over to the bar. The blonde was still smiling, flicking his hand happily by his side, and Kelly watched as he ordered. It seemed as though that round was on him, although it was all going on his tab anyway, so it was hard to tell. As soon as Casey had the beers, he turned back to firehouse forty, walking slowly and carefully as to not drop them.

Kelly took the opportunity to look back at the table, once again scrutinizing the firefighters. He did wish that he could hear what they were saying, but he couldn’t see any alarm bells. Forcing himself to look away, he reprimanded himself. He always got nervous when Casey was meeting new people by himself, but he knew that the celebrated Captain could handle himself. He knew that. And there were good people out there. Yes, there _were_ those who had the desire to be cruel, but they were few and far between. The chance that Casey had happened upon an entire group of them was low.

Casey would be _fine._

It didn’t take long for the firefighters from house forty to finish their drinks, and before long, Casey was standing again. That made him frown – hadn’t Casey just bought the last round?

He waited for Casey to get closer – the blonde was unlikely to hear him if he called from this far anyway – and then his hand shot out, lightly clutching Casey’s wrist. Casey turned, eyebrows already raised, and his blue eyes flittered up and down Severide’s frame, “Okay, Kel?”

Severide nodded, warming slightly at Casey’s care. But he still had a pressing matter, and he looked Casey up and down as he asked; “Where are you going?”

The truck Captain took a moment to respond, clearly perplexed as to why Severide was asking, “Getting drinks?”

Kelly’s heart skipped a beat, but there was no reason to assume anything. Maybe Casey was picking the drinks up and putting them on someone else’s tab. Or multiple tabs. He’d been keeping an eye on him for the better part of the night and hadn’t seen any warning signs. The rest of fifty-one kept a loose eye on him as well, and someone would have mentioned something if they’d noticed.

So, he was tempted to leave it, but what Casey had said didn’t bode well, “Didn’t you buy the last ones?”

Again, Casey just blinked. Then, he smiled, “It’s okay, Kel. They’re my friends?”

His heart skipped another beat, and then plunged right down to his stomach. Casey didn’t notice his upset, and just grinned again before heading towards Herrmann at the bar. The older Lieutenant smiled warmly at the young Captain, but Severide could see his slight concern.

Before he had the opportunity to go over an say anything, though, he felt Tony rapping on his shoulder, “Kelly.”

Severide glanced over, following Tony’s gaze to the table.

And anger surged.

One of the firefighters – _Adams?_ – was holding his hands to his shoulders, flapping much in the way that Casey did. But he’d added something to the performance – he had his tongue out, and his eyes crossed. And Kelly had a hard time not jumping up and decking him right there. The other firefighters hadn’t noticed Kelly looking, but regardless, they tapped Adams on the shoulder, urging him to stop.

But they were also smiling, just as cruelly.

They just wanted to continue picking on him without getting caught.

Casey started making his way back to them, once again carrying drinks. He seemed totally unaware of what was happening, and that made Kelly even more angry.

They took the drinks from him, seeming genuine enough as they started conversing with him again. They were being discreet, he had to admit that. If he hadn’t seen what they’d been doing, there was no way that he would have known what was happening. But it didn’t make it okay.

They were still bullying Casey.

Why did this keep happening? Why did people think that, because Casey was autistic, that they could bully him?

It just wasn’t fair.

With a heavy heart, Severide remembered the last time that Casey had been bullied like this, and he remembered how the blonde had immeaditely withdrawn. It had utterly destroyed his self-confidence for weeks, and Severide didn’t want it to happen again.

Casey didn’t deserve it.

Numbly, Severide was aware that the rest of Squad was watching him, waiting for his direction. And as much as Severide wanted to go and smash some faces in, the last time that this had happened was blaring at him, screaming at him and reminding him of the pain.

He didn’t want to see it happen again. He really didn’t. Casey had been so hurt and had been so torn.

Maybe there was a way that he could extract Casey without him realising? Was that bad? Was lying to the blonde in order to protect him wrong? He just didn’t know.

Casey laughed again, and in that moment, he looked so damn happy and innocent that Severide decided there was no way he could destroy it. It would be like kicking a puppy.

If he went over, and sat with them – maybe, just maybe, they would lay off and leave Casey alone.

Motioning for Squad to stand down – Kelly loved how loyal they all were, how prepared to defend Casey’s honour – he stood and made his way over to the blonde. Immediately, Matt shot him a bright smile, and Kelly did his best to smile back.

Because even though Casey had trouble reading people in general, he could definitely read Severide.

He stepped around the back of Casey, firmly placing his hands on his shoulders with a reassuring squeeze. But no matter how comforting the gesture might be to Casey, Kelly glared at each individual at the table, making it clear that he knew what was going on.

“Hey, Kel!”

Adams – the same firefighter as earlier – was getting dangerously close to snickering, and Kelly gave him one hell of a glare. He kept his voice light as he squeezed Casey’s shoulders again, “Hey, bud. Enjoying yourself?”

Casey nodded that he was, and then started introducing Kelly to the others. They smiled – again, only the most subtle signs that Casey was being mocked coming through, it was no wonder that Casey hadn’t noticed – and welcomed Kelly, but Severide had had enough. He decided that he needed to get Casey out of there and leant down, “Hey, Case? Tony has a question for you... he and Capp have been arguing the entire night, I’m getting sick of it. Can you help settle it?”

The blonde’s usual frown covered his face, a mere adorable crinkle in his eyebrows. It was an expression that Kelly knew well; it was the one that meant Casey was trying to work out how to handle things, “Okay, Kel. Then maybe I can come back here?”

Kelly knew that he was asking more than anything else – angling for Severide to tell him if it was socially acceptable for him to do just that. And Kelly felt guilty that he’d put the blonde in that position. He knew that what he’d asked – for Casey to leave one conversation to join another – was something that Casey would’ve deemed socially unacceptable, and now he was asking him to do it. The blonde tended to see things as black and white; walking away from people was usually rude, but _sometimes_ it wasn’t. He just struggled to identify the _sometimes,_ so, he was asking Kelly if this was one of them.

Before Kelly could manage a response, though, Adams burst out laughing, wiping his eyes as he laughed at Casey. For a moment, the blonde’s eyes also lit up, encouraged at the laughter and not yet realising that it was directed at him. But his smile was soon wiped from his face, as Adams spoke his next words –

“Oh my God. He’s actually fully retarded, isn’t he?”

Multiple things happened at once. Casey went utterly still, mind reeling as he tried to work out what had happened. To him; these firefighters had gone from being incredibly kind, to calling him retarded within seconds. Firehouse forty all burst out laughing, and Kelly’s fist connected with Adams’ face.

He couldn’t help it. The man just deserved it.

His fist had caused a reaction from the rest of forty, and they all started moving towards both the Captain and the Lieutenant. But Squad had been watching and were already on their feet, joining the kerfuffle within seconds.

Kelly took the opportunity to grab his still-stunned friend, pulling him out of harm’s way. He copped a strong fist to the jaw because of it – whether it was the stunned Casey or someone from forty, he didn’t know – but he didn’t care. Seconds later, Truck and Engine were closing in. The aforementioned companies probably didn’t even know what was happening, but if members of fifty-one were being attacked, and that was all the information they needed.

They were all there for each other.

Still holding Casey’s shirt in his fist, Severide pulled him even further away from the commotion. While he wanted to bash some faces in, his friend was the most important thing in that moment. Casey was rigid in his grasp, and Kelly knew that he wasn’t helping matters by grabbing him and hauling him elsewhere. But he just wanted to get Casey to safety before anything happened.

Luckily, he was able to get them through the doors and behind Molly’s before Casey came to his senses. Casey’s mind had finished deciding between fight or flee – because people don’t fly, they _flee_ – and had settled on flee. He spun around, using his arm to brush Severide off. Kelly immeaditely raised his hands and stepped back, indicating that he wasn’t about to grab Casey again.

The blonde took a few steps away from him, high-pitched grunts escaping his throat. He waited patiently as Casey continued to pace – flicking his hands to burn off excess energy, only occasionally tearing at his hear – and allowed him space because he knew that his friend was beyond speech right now.

While he was waiting, he heard the side door open, and turned to see a cautious Herrmann. They had all seen Casey in this state before, but it didn’t stop the concern crossing the older man’s face.

Quietly, he moved over to Severide, handing him both of their jackets. Casey must have clocked the movement, because he stopped pacing, moving over to the cool bricks of the building. He leant against it, flattening his palms, before leaning his forehead against it and rocking lightly.

“Is he okay?”

Herrmann’s whisper was gentle, and Severide nodded, still distracted with his friend.

The older man glanced over to Casey, eyes softening at the man’s evident distress. Eager to help in any way that he could, Herrmann leant in, “We got those morons out of the bar… they’ve all been banned for life. Chief saw the entire thing; he’s going to handle everything with the CFD."

Kelly nodded again, just as absent as the previous time. He’d reassure Herrmann as much as possible, but he also wasn’t his primary concern right now. Herrmann didn’t seem to notice, still too pent up about the entire event, “Hey, and Casey doesn’t have to worry about the drinks. They’re on the house…”

“Herrmann.”

The Engine Lieutenant nodded, scratching the back of his neck as he got the message. Severide felt bad; he knew that Herrmann was just as worried about Casey as he was, but he was in a much better position to help the blonde.

Herrmann gave Casey a final concerned glance before turning back to Severide, “If you need anything…”

Kelly nodded, waiting until the door clanged shut. He surveyed Casey again, seeing that his rocking had mostely stopped. Slowly, he started moving towards Casey, knowing how easy he was to startle when he was in this state, “Hey bud.”

Casey moved slowly as he responded, letting out a light moan as he angled his head towards him. Tears had stained his cheeks, and he frowned as he looked to the ground, “I’m sorry.”

Kelly just shook his head, keeping his voice gentle as he muttered, “You have nothing to apologise for, bud. Do you want to go home?”

Casey nodded against the wall but still didn’t move. Realising that Casey was just seeking the pressure, Severide moved over to him, lightly dropping a hand to his shoulder.

The blonde responded to the contact, moving so his forehead was instead pressed against Kelly’s shoulder. Now that Casey was so close, he was aware that he was humming softly – near-silent sounds emitting from his throat. Kelly paused again, but he was starting to shiver; and he was aware that Casey wasn’t fairing much better.

Eventually, it was obvious that the cold was getting the better of the blonde, and Severide fumbled around with the jackets. He managed drape one over Casey’s shoulders, but not without jostling the blonde, and Casey moaned as he pulled away.

Direct and firm instructions were the best for Casey while he was in this state, Kelly knew not to bother with questions. Handing the blonde his jacket, he spoke calmly, “Put this on, bud. It’s freezing.”

Nodding, Casey took the jacket from Severide and put it over his shoulders, watching numbly as Severide did the same. Kelly could see how much he wanted another hug, but Casey was becoming increacingly aware that they were standing in an alleyway in the freezing Chicago cold. Now that he was moving past his initial panic, he wanted nothing more than to get home; to hide away. Part of him thought it was gutless, but the bigger part didn’t care.

Despite his earlier intention to not force Casey into making any decisions, he knew that the blonde would be bubbling over with restless energy. And while they didn’t exactly live close to Molly’s, they were both fit. If it was the better thing for Casey, Severide would happily walk, “C’mon, bud. We can go in the car; or we can walk.”

Slowly, Casey motioned towards the road, indicating to Severide that he wanted to drive home. He wasn’t opposed to the idea of a walk – he definitely had the energy, and walking was a good way to get in control of his emotions – but he knew that if he did, Kelly would need to pick up his car the next day. It would just be a pain, and he didn’t want to put Kelly through that.

He heard Severide’s keys jingle, and on autopilot, started moving towards the car. Kelly followed, unlocking it and watching as Casey climbed into the passenger seat and belted himself in.

They drove in silence, Casey still letting out the little hums. In no time, they were home, and Severide parked and pulled the hand break.

“Hey, Case. We’re home.”

The Captain watched for a moment, before nodding firmly. He took his belt off, slipping out of the car and waiting as Severide unlocked the door. No sooner was it open, Casey barreled through, stepping into the open plan and moving towards the bench. He was rocking again, slightly, but Severide knew that he was doing well, all things considered.

He dropped the keys to the bench, and the noise startled Casey out of his daze. He glanced over, looking Severide head to toe, before hanging his head, ashamed.

“I’m sorry.”

Kelly moved closer, watching Casey carefully as he put his hand to his shoulder. The blonde wasn’t yet making eye contact, but Severide knew he was getting close, “You have nothing to apologise for, bud. I mean it. Nothing at all.”

Casey blinked, still staring at the ground as he whispered; “I ruined your night…”

Kelly shook his head. He didn’t want Casey to think that, the last thing the blonde needed was to blame himself, “No. Those arseholes ruined the night, Case. Not you. I mean it.”

The blonde had flinched at the word ‘arsehole’, and Severide cringed himself. Casey had been called names his entire life, so he didn’t like doing it himself. Even if the person really deserved it.

“Sorry, Case. The firefighters from forty ruined it; not you.”

For a brief moment, a slight smirk came over the blonde’s face. He knew what Severide was doing, and he appreciated it. And it was almost enough to make its way past all the confusion.

Almost.

But the events from the night were still pounding through his head, were still overpowering him. He didn’t understand what had happened, didn’t understand what had gone wrong. If _he’d_ done something wrong, hurt them first. And he knew that Kelly would tell him, but he was just hurt and confused and _scared._ Did he misread other things? How often did he make the mistake?

He didn’t even realise that he’d started rocking again, not until he felt Severide’s hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t even jump, just leant towards Kelly, this time glancing up and catching his gaze, “Kel… can I… can we get into bed?”

It wasn’t a strange request at all. When he’d been a kid – and hadn’t even known what autism was let alone that he had it – Casey had buried himself in his bedsheets and pillows, wrapping them around himself tightly to get the desired pressure. He’d continued the habit into the academy, both Severide and Darden understanding what he was doing only after he’d told them he was autistic. It had been years later that Severide had read about weighted blankets, and he’d passed the boot around to buy Casey one for his birthday.

And Casey had loved it. Although, he had been worried about Severide’s judgement at first – or any judgement he might get from fifty-one – and had kept it in his room; because in his eyes, the weighted blanket wasn’t something adults should need. Severide had quickly counteracted that by bringing it from Casey’s room at every opportunity. He’d left it on the couch to normalize its presence, he’d use it himself when he was watching TV. He’d throw it over Casey and crawl under with him, tell Casey how good it felt. And it had worked. Casey had built up the confidence to use it himself; after a bad call, when he’d been unwell, or just any rough days in general.

Severide had just been relieved that it had helped. Anything to make his buddy’s life easier was worth it.

Knowing that the bedroom was still Casey’s safe place, Severide didn’t need to think before he nodded, “Yeah –”

It was all Casey needed to hear. He was still in the minimally verbal faze, not yet ready nor bothering to flesh out his sentences to make them more polite. Instead, he nodded curtly, “We should get ready first.”

And with that, the blonde turned to his room, heading in to get his toothbrush.

Severide knew from experience that Casey got ready quickly, so he dashed off to his own room to get ready himself, pouring himself a quick coffee. He had no doubt it would be a long night – not that he blamed Casey – and he owed it to Casey to be there for him.

He got ready as quickly as he could, moving back to Casey’s room. Sure enough, the blonde was already in his bed, weighted blanket pooled over his shoulders and over his head. Kelly didn’t say anything as he crawled onto the bed, gently nudging Casey.

“Hey, bud. Can I come in?”

The blonde shifted, barely visible as he lifted the blanket up, wrapping it around Kelly with incredible precision. They ended up lying down, blanket over both of their heads, and Casey shuffled until his face peered through the folds of the blanket.

With a stab Severide realised that, at some point, Casey had started crying again. His eyes were red, blue pools still teary. They found Severide’s, though, and Kelly didn’t even need to know how much it meant for Casey to be making eye contact with him while he was in this state.

“What… what happened, Kel? I don’t understand… did I… what happened?”

Severide tried not to let his emotion show, not wanting to add any stress to his friend. Silently, he reached over, seeking the blonde’s hand and giving it a squeeze, “I’m sorry, Casey. I am. They were being mean; they were teasing you.”

Casey’s face fell, and he glanced away. Not saying anything, Kelly squeezed his hand again, gently rubbing circles on the back of his hand. 

“They called me… retarded.”

He’d had whispered the word, and it reminded Kelly how much he hated it. But he could only confirm it, trying to convey all of his sorrow as he nodded, “Yes, they did. I’m sorry, Casey.”

The blonde paused for another second, knowing the answer before he even asked the question. But he had to ask, because he needed to confirm that he hadn’t just misread the situation, “Did they mean it in a nice way?”

Heart sinking, Severide shook his head. He knew that Casey was just grasping at straws, his ability to see the best in people not allowing him to accept that they were being cruel without more evidence, and Severide utterly hated that he had to destroy that, “They were being mean, bud. I’m sorry.”

Casey just let out a heartbreaking whine, lifting his head slightly before slamming it back into the mattress, “Why though? What’s the point in being mean?”

Honestly not knowing what to say, Severide just shook his head. How did you explain spite to someone who didn’t have a malicious bone in their body? How did he explain that some people made themselves feel better by putting him down, when Casey only enjoyed lifting people up? How could he do that.

“I don’t know, buddy. I’m sorry.”

Casey just moaned again, roughly swiping his face as he tried to hide his tears, “What am I not understanding?”

Severide’s heart broke a little more, and he moved closer, gently taking Casey’s wrist before he could actually do himself any harm, “I’m so sorry, Casey. Some people are just mean. I’m so sorry.”

The blonde was silent for a moment, although Severide could tell his mind was still reeling. He waited patiently, knowing that silence was the best for Casey right now.

“Am I like that? Do I hurt people? Do I just not realise?”

Fuck it, Severide just wanted to bundle Casey in his arms and protect him forever. Having a hard time keeping his emotions in check, Severide bit his lip, “You don’t hurt people, Case. Never intentionally. And sometimes, you might say something inappropriate – I know that, you know that – but then you apologise, because you didn’t mean too. Not in that way.”

Casey had listened intently to his words, and he dropped Kelly’s gaze for a moment as he thought through his answer.

“Did they mean it? Did they just make a mistake?”

Kelly wished he could tell Casey that they had, but it just wasn’t the case. He’d never lie to him, “They were bullying you, Case. They meant it. They knew what they were saying.”

The blonde sobbed. Softly, Kelly reached over, gently wiping the tears away.

“Why does this keep happening to me? Is it because I’m autistic?”

That had really broken Severide’s heart, and in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to hit the people who had done this to him. Because he utterly hated this. Not that Casey was asking these questions, that he felt that he had to. It was so unfair - the blonde didn’t deserve it. Not when he was so caring and kind.

And while he didn’t want to blame Casey’s autism, he knew that he had to give him an honest and clear answer. Casey’s autism made him vulnerable, drew a target on his back. It made it harder for him to read the subtle signs that he was being bullied – which was what had happened that night. But there was also another component, one that played a bigger role than his disability. And that was his pure heart.

“It might be a little bit to do with autism, yeah. Because it’s harder for you to read their behaviour. But mainly; it’s because you’re a good person, Case. You’re so kind, and so caring. You believe that everyone else is the same. You look for the best in people, even if it’s not there - and you give them every possible chance. It’s not a bad thing, Case... in fact, it just says how damn amazing you are. You’ve been through so much, and you still see the best. And it says so much about you… how pure your heart is. And I’m sorry that there’s shitty people out there, Case. I really am. I wish there weren’t... because you don’t deserve to interact with them. You deserve the best, Case. You really do.”

Casey was silent for a long while, just processing Severide’s words. He didn’t know how to respond to them; he struggled to know if he was a good person. He certainly tried to be, but he didn’t know if that was how others received him. And sure, Severide maintained that he was good… but what if Severide was wrong?

He couldn’t help but remember every instance that he’d been bullied, thinking that good people didn’t deserve it. So why did he? It didn’t make sense.

Reading his friend’s mind, Severide smiled, “I’m not wrong, bud. You are a good person. You’re the most amazingly kind person I know.”

Slowly, Casey met his gaze again. He could see that Severide wasn’t lying, and he really did trust him. Kelly had never been wrong in the past, all the social cues he’d taught him over the years had been right. Was there any reason for him to be wrong now?

But one thing was still on his mind; and that was too apologize. Even if he _was_ a good person, he hated that he was putting Severide in this position. He wished that he could have handled himself better, that he hadn’t needed Kelly to bail him out, nor to talk about it after.

His eyes filled with tears again, and he dropped Kelly’s gaze in shame, “I’m sorry, Kel. I’m sorry I’m autistic.”

Severide sighed softly to himself, reaching out and squeezing the blonde’s shoulder. Not only did these situations exacerbate Casey’s social anxiety, but they also made him question his self-worth. Something that Severide utterly hated.

“Being autistic is never something to apologize for, Case. Not at all. And tonight isn’t either – this was not your fault. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Matty, and this doesn’t change it.”

The blonde didn’t meet his gaze, and Severide knew that he had to keep going, “I mean it, Case. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had; I can always rely on you. If I need help with something, you’re there. And that’s both physically and emotionally – you care about my feelings, and you always check in on me. Even if you can be a bit of an emotional bulldozer at times.”

He was, of course, referencing the occasions that Casey had meant the very best, but had totally lacked the suitable level of tact. And it had got a strained chuckle out of the blonde, so Severide relaxed a little.

The blonde was sounding a little more confident as he asked, “I’m not too annoying?”

Severide shook his head, remaining silent. Casey took a few minutes to process it, before nodding slowly. He might not be totally convinced; but he was at least getting there. He shifted closer, eyes finally flicking up and meeting Kelly’s.

“Can I hug you?”

Severide didn’t even need to nod, shifting forwards so his arms were firmly wrapped around his friend. Casey relaxed against him, and even though Severide knew it could be a few hours before Casey was tired enough to sleep – and that he’d possibly want another conversation – he was just proud of how far they’d come. He had no doubt that there would be consequences of this night. He knew that there was no way Casey would want Boden making a big deal of it, and that he’d try to pay Herrmann for the drinks. Casey would likely be embarrassed next time he saw his firehouse family and would probably spend a few days apologizing to Severide. Most of all, though, Severide knew that Casey’s confidence would have taken a hit; but Kelly would be there to build it back up again.

Because ultimately, Casey would be okay. He had support, and he had people who cared about him. The blonde himself was incredible; he was one of the most caring men in the CFD. Yes, his autism sometimes posed challenges, but he would always get through them, he would always rise above them. He had a family; one who loved him no matter what, who were there for him through thick and thin.

So no matter what, Casey would be okay. 


End file.
